It only feels like yesterday that the AFL season got underway – when fans of the Gold Coast Suns, Brisbane Lions and Carlton Blues still had the will to live – but we are now halfway through the season and it is time to take stock. AFL fans in Western Australia are as happy as a tick on a fat dog, while the 12 people that follow Australian Rules in Queensland are completely despondent. How is your team faring? We have accessed the form of all 18 teams to come up with our own view of their positives and negatives this this season to date!
Positive: They have only lost one game and they no longer have to play with the grub that is Ryan Crowley.
Negative: They still have to wear purple jerseys.
West Coast Eagles
Positive: They have bounced back from their shocking 2014 and will play finals football unless they crash as badly as Ben Cousins.
Negative: Half their Premiership winning team from 2006 are facing drug charges.
Positive: Lance Franklin has avoided crashing his girlfriend’s car
Negative: Without Franklin’s hijinks, the side has received no media attention.
Positive: The club’s decision to transition from Mick Malthouse to Nathan Buckley has finally been justified.
Negative: Their fans.
Positive: Their entire squad managed to survive their epic Mad Monday celebrations.
Negative: Half their squad look like they would still prefer to be at their Mad Monday celebrations.
Greater Western Sydney Giants
Positive: Half their young squad is now able to drink in an American bar legally.
Negative: They have been forced to cancel their end of season trip to Las Vegas because they might be forced to play finals football.
Positive: They are finally a better team than Port Adelaide again (Not a tough task in 2015).
Negative: Patrick Dangerfield is going to leave at the end of the season and they will go back to missing the eight.
Positive: They won’t need a miracle winning streak to make the finals.
Negative: They are in the boxseat to finish ninth for the 163rd time in their history.
Positive: After winning some games they are now recording crowds of over 5000.
Negative: They still haven’t won a flag in over half a century.
Positive: They are set to score some draft picks to bolster their squad that has an average age of 38.
Negative: How can you possibly go past losing to the Demons?
North Melbourne Kangaroos
Positive: They got rid of Brad Scott for fourth game.
Negative: They weren’t able to get rid of Brad Scott for good.
Port Adelaide Power
Positive: Their fans get to sing a crappy INXS song before every home game.
Negative: Their fans have to sing a crappy INXS song before every home game.
Positive: James Hird’s tan is finally getting back to its former glory after his year off in Europe.
Negative: They have been unable to re-sign Stephen Dank.
St Kilda Saints
Positive: They look to be out of wooden spoon contention, despite starting the season as favourites.
Negative: The best team they have beaten is the Western Bulldogs.
Positive: Children that support the Demons are no longer getting bullied at school.
Negative: Paul Roos is leaving at the end of the season and they will go straight back to the bottom of the ladder.
Positive: They got rid of old man Malthouse.
Negative: They are still trying to rebuild their drowned hovercraft.
Positive: The players can still walk through the streets without being recognised by literally anybody.
Negative: Saying ‘I play for the Lions’ is no longer an effective pick-up line.
Gold Coast Suns
Positive: The squad obviously has plenty of players that are excellent drinkers.
Negative: They still have to wait three more months for Mad Monday.