The Gold Coast Suns cannot take a trick this season. They’ve lost Gary Ablett, they’ve been crap at football as a result and have now been forced to stand down Jack Martin and Charlie Dixon after the pair breached the club’s sobriety pact last weekend.
Following a promising effort in 2014, a lot was expected of the AFL’s second-newest franchise leading into campaign 2015 but it seems as though they’ve reverted back to their foundation form in winning just one from nine.
The Suns, apparently as a rule this season, were thoroughly pantsed by the Hawks last weekend and to add salt to the wounds, Dixon and Martin revealed to their teammates they had tied a few off at the hotel before taking to the field.
Unfortunately for Queensland’s second team, it seems to run far deeper than just two blokes splitting a spritzer. Last month, four Suns players in Harley Bennell, Brandon Matera, Trent McKenzie and Danny Stanley were all stood down for the same reason.
The club has confirmed they will launch another enquiry into the team’s culture; particularly that of the leadership group and the example set by senior members of the playing roster.
We are entering Round 10, and while clearly the Suns won’t be making the finals, we’re a long bloody way from Mad Monday.
Now I am by no means in any position to judge a man for wanting to wet his whistle – there’s a reason I’ve been kicked off more than one brewery tour, so I believe embracing the culture might figure as the best possible chance of a win or two.
Let’s have a look at the Suns’ next few opponents and how saddling the beast might work to their advantage.
Round 10 – Sydney Swans
Deary me. Not a good start. It’s going to take more than a carton or two to warm up for this one.
Round 11 – Fremantle Dockers
The ladder leaders, unbeaten and will more than likely start $1.01 favourites. A few cheeky bevos can’t hurt, probably better not to remember anything from this one.
Round 12 – Bye
Round 13 – Carlton
The best chance of a second win this season. I’ve always found my productivity increased tenfold after a couple of lunch beers, so I think that’s the key.
Is there any point fixing this in 2015? To me, it seems like the Suns can etch their name into AFL folklore in a completely different way. 23 Round bender!