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Reasons Why Shark Cronulla Will Win

  1. Harold Holt Could Theoretically Still Be AliveHe would have just turned 108 but China does claim to have a 127-year-old living in the country so an improved diet after being picked up by a Chinese submarine means the former PM could still be up and about.
  2. Paul Gallen Has Had EnoughThe Origin defeats, the lack of finals footy success, the allegations of being a grub, the ASADA scandal … a Grand Final defeat could tip the Sharks skipper over the edge. Nobody in Rugby League wants that, not even the Storm.
  3. History … Sort OfIt can be said with absolute certainty that no Valentine has ever played in a losing Grand Final nor has a Shane ever been the losing coach in a premiership decider.
  4. Cheyse Blair Plays for MelbourneHe has been a reserve grader for most of his career and is arguably the worst player on the paddock.
  5. Up, Up CronullaThe cheer that has come to define Cronulla will finally come to its literal fruition with a Sharks win.
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